Coping With the Death and Grief of Losing a Parent
Coping with death & grief is one of life’s most difficult challenges, but dealing with the death of a parent comes with its own type of grieving and issues.
Something happens, instantly happens when your parent dies. It is one of those rare instances that time seems to slow down so drastically that you wonder if is really is possible for time to stand still.
Can time stand still and race backwards in ‘rewind mode’ at mock speed at the same time?
Standing in the spot where time and space have stopped, you are suddenly no longer able to deny the fact that you never wanted to believe was true — we are mortal and we die.
The parents that seemed so strong – full of authority and direction- are no longer here.
It is in that moment that we are born into adulthood. Gone are the days that we believe that life goes on forever. Now we are the ‘grownups,’ the ‘voice of reason,’ and the ‘example’ for the next generation.
We are no longer kids.
At that moment that stands still, it is hard to breath. If we do, it means we are moving on. Accepting the next breath and the inevitable role that we are now the parents.
It is now that we realize that the role we identified with as a ‘child’ vanishes with our parent’s last breath. But even so we rebel against this, wanting to cling to that little child we were again…caressed in our parent’s embrace and told — “You are loved unconditionally. You are safe. I will protect you. Don’t be afraid.”
When is it that we are ready to forge ahead without the guidance and wisdom of a loving parent. For a lot of us, we will never be ready, but will do so anyway.
What if you looked at grieving the death of a parent differently? What if you knew that although the physical body their spirit resided in passed away, they were still very much alive?
Would it make it easier to smile? Would you be able to start to mourn less and live more?
Would you believe and feel them present during celebrations or even when you sat alone weeping with sadness?
What if you heard from them again? One more time. And they let you know they were OK. More than OK, but happy and whole and still loving you as they always have.
So many want and need this. Many have. Greta Reimann has.
(an excerpt from pg. 81
As her reading ended, Greta felt like she could
fly. For the first time since his death she realized
that what her dad wanted most was for her to look
inside herself and realize what made her tick. He
wanted her to fulfill her dreams. From that day forward,
Greta felt free to follow her heart knowing
that honoring herself was the greatest gift she could
Her reunion with her dad has changed her outlook
on life by giving her the freedom to manifest
her own hopes and dreams. She is truly grateful
that she was able to hear from him through Ricky.
She still talks to her dad every night knowing definitively
that he hears her and loves her as much as he
always did. Although Greta still misses her dad being
here with her physically, she finds great comfort
knowing that he’s not gone.
We all mourn differently, for different reasons, and for different amounts of time. But one thing that seems to be innate in everyone is that no matter how old we get, we still want to feel the love of our parents.
I wish for you – to feel that love. It didn’t die. It can’t. Love is forever.
Wishing you love & peace,
- Posted in: Excerpts from the book They're Not Gone ♦ Grieving the Loss of A Parent
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